DJ and I don't have a church. We were both raised in churches, by families that still attend churches. But independent of each other, we'd both opted out. So the question of where to have the ceremony wasn't a quick answer.
Much as I love the look and feel of outdoor ceremonies, I knew I didn't want one. I'm a huge worrier with frizz-prone hair - much better to stick with a covered, temperature controlled space.
My grandma has been a member of the same church for several decades. I've been there with her many many times, and always felt welcome. It occurred to me that she might be excited about seeing me walk down the aisle in her church, so I called her to ask.
She was, in fact, excited. She quietly disapproves of living together before marriage, so I think it was a relief to her that we wanted to be married - and in a church, too! It seemed like things were coming together, and I was starting to picture myself walking up that aisle.
The next day, I called the church secretary and held a date in October 2009. Just a few hours later, my grandma called to say she really wasn't comfortable with the situation, and that she did not want us to be married in her church.
I won't get into the reasons - it's enough to say that I couldn't change her mind. There were some tears, but that was it. Her church wasn't the right place. It took me a few weeks to call the church and cancel, but by that time I'd expanded my possibilities.
Did we want to be married in a different church? In a wedding-mill chapel? Between the tables at a chic restaurant? Or maybe we should just run away somewhere, just the two of us. The options were rolling in, and they were starting to look like fun.