Thursday, December 11, 2008

firstname lastname

We all get to it at some point. The big question: do I change my name or not? Frequently there's another option: will he change his name or not?

When DJ and I were engaged last time, nearly a decade ago, I assumed that I would just change my name. But somewhere in those ten years I grew more attached to my name.

We briefly discussed changing his name, or changing both our last names, but quickly ruled that out. DJ is named for his father and grandfather, all sharing the same first and last names. He also comes from a close extended family, and that identity is important to him.

I'm not particularly attached to my actual name; it's nothing special, and I don't particularly identify with my family of origin. But I've had that name for going on three decades, and I'm uncomfortable with leaving half my name behind for a whole new one. At the same time, I'd like for DJ and I to share the same name, and I'm thrilled to be a part of his wonderful family. (Seriously. I often joke that I am marrying him for his family.)

So, what's left. Hyphenation. Hyphenation would give me a long and consonant-filled name, but it would be easy for me to remain Julia Remix professionally while having the option of Julia Remix-J or Julia J in my personal life.

Also, hyphenated names always make me think of Dynasty and Alexis Morell Carrington Colby Dexter Rowan. (Though I guess hers were not hyphenated so much as daisy-chained.) So until the novelty wears off my old-new name will make me giggle.


lilac_leaf said...

I just have one thing for you to think of. If you will be having kids, consider how their name will work out. And think about your return address when addressing cards.

Nubbin Remix-J?
D J, Julia Remix, and Nubbin J?

I know someone who kept their last name, you see, and I always think their return address looks somewhat awkward. Though I also believe that matrilineal geneology makes more sense than patrilineal.

Julia Remix said...

You know I've already considered that. :) The kidlets will be Nubbin J. As a group, we will have DJ's last name - return addresses and school things and that sort of thing. Informal stuff is easy that way.

I will just have an extra name to use when I feel like it and when signing legal paperwork. I think that will work. I hope so?

Anne said...

What a cute post! Many brides turn this into a big deal and you've got us giggling.


Anonymous said...

In Texas, you can legally go by either your maiden or married name once the ink is on the contract. I still go by Laura S. and Laura F., primarily because I am too lazy to switch out credit, ss#, and the myriad other pieces of stuff that identify me as Laura S.