Tuesday, August 11, 2009

liberal conservative

My mom thinks that I am too conservative. I am not sure how it happened, but it has. It's especially surprising because I was raised by conservative, religious parents. No jeans, skirts above the knee, or two piece swimsuits.

My mom would say that she really only needed a good pair of navy trousers, a pair of khaki pants, a black skirt, and various primary colored sweaters. She meant it, but the story her closets tell now is different. Vibrant and interesting. A strong shift in perspective.

Before my senior prom I secretly bought a pair of thong underwear, to avoid lines under my bias-cut dress. They were the granniest thong underwear possible. A full-coverage thong. My mom found it in my dresser and I thought it was the end of the world.

These days I wear two-piece swimsuits from time to time, often wear jeans, and hesitate about skirt length based mainly on my age, profession, and muscle tone. DJ and I live together and are not (yet) married. And my mother thinks that I am too conservative.

Which may be fair, since I don't go "out" often, wear turtleneck sweaters all winter, and don't mind the occasional grocery store ma'am. But all that was true ten years ago, too.

We are not relating well to each other right now. In the stages of life we are out of sync. Sometimes I wonder if we would get along well if she were the same now as she was then. Probably not. I’m too liberal for the mother of my teens, and too conservative for the mother of my twenties. There must have been a moment when the intersection was perfect, but it passed. I feel bad about that, too.


Liz @ McFargan: A Midwestern Matrimony said...

When you write, my dear, I smile. And nod. Because I know this well.

Anonymous said...

What is that saying about being able to pick your friends...? I am sorry that you and your mother are having issues. If they relate to the wedding, steel yourself and remember that this is YOUR day, not hers, and it should be just as you want it. This is one situation in life where it is absolutely okay to be stubborn and selfish.

Jenny.Lee said...

I hope you and your Mother can come to a sort of compromise at some point and agree to disagree.