Liz asked how I am feeling as the wedding comes closer. Well, Liz. To be honest, this is not the easiest week. Saturday was the deadline for RSVP cards, and there were several disappointments. Several people I have considered dear friends never replied at all. Which has made me feel a little delusional about the state of those relationships.
(I realize that I may be taking it all too seriously. Don't worry, I am not doing anything about it. Compounding awkwardness is never the answer.)
We did hear from my grandma, finally, after five weeks of waiting. My estranged father's mother. We have been close in the past, until I stopped speaking to my father - although she did come to my bridal shower. For the wedding, she checked "decline." No note. I know exactly why, and it is a sad thing. All of it.
Things are still difficult with my mom. It's sad and embarassing, and I'm spending all kinds of time trying to schedule the wedding day so the difficulties won't be apparent to everyone else. Because I don't want to feel difficult and sad on my wedding day.
I'm having a hard time reconciling those relationship woes with the happiness and excitement of having rings, a marriage license, and exactly the right person for me. That's how I'm feeling.